Here’s wishing a Happy New Year to our gentle readers and advertisers. 2020 just has to be better than 2019… for me anyway.
Moving forward, I figured my first column of the year should be a little light hearted, so here goes:
I was recently reading though a message posted on Facebook by a former schoolmate/church friend/neighbor. At first, I thought she was venting about a true experience of hers. Turns out that the gal was just sharing a funny posting that she had just read, in other words, fiction.
Nevertheless, I got a heck of a kick out of reading it and decided to share it with my husband. Getting his attention, I thought, I read the story to him. Here is what I told him:
I quickly stopped at [a big box store] to pick up all of two items. I was waiting in the checkout line when I dropped a $20 bill. The woman in front of me picked it up. I thanked her and held out my hand and she said, “finder’s keepers” and walked away! Really? I looked at the woman behind me and she looked just as shocked as I did. Immediately I left the checkout line and as I caught up to the woman I said, “Do I look like an ATM?! Give me that $20!” The horrible woman had the nerve to completely ignore me and walk out of the door. I followed her out of the store into the parking lot. She was clearly walking fast to get away from me, which was the first sign of real intelligence she had shown. When she got to her car, she put her groceries on the ground to open her trunk. Now, remember, I’m both shocked and mad and really thinking/wishing it was legal to punch her out. I decided that her “finder’s keepers” rule just presented a perfect opportunity for me, so I returned the favor by picking up her groceries and said, “finder’s keepers, right back at ya.” She looked shocked as I walked away to my car with her groceries. So now the tables were turned and it was now me ignoring her every attempt to get her groceries back. I’m still ticked off but at least I had some sense of satisfaction at the same time. So, now she’s yelling at me while I ignore her as I’m loading her groceries into my car. She actually ran after me in the parking lot as I drove off. When I got home and unpacked the bags, what did I find?
Four rib eye steaks, M&M’S, a roasted chicken and a $20 store gift card. Not bad for $20 dollars!
After reading the above to my darling hubby, and without telling him yet that it was merely a fable, I said to him, “karma’s a bitch.” His response was, “who’s Carmen and why are you calling her a bitch?” My retort to him was, “Are you wearing your hearing aids? Were you really listening to me?” He sheepishly admitted that he wasn’t, and with that, I never did tell him that the story was fake. It probably doesn’t matter; he wasn’t paying attention anyway!